Overcoming The Fear Of Body Shaming

Have you ever been in situations where you have to hear negative comments about your body?

Have you ever felt hurt, anxious or even depressed by those even-minded comments about your body from the surroundings?

No matter they are just jokes or intended criticisms, we sure all have been body shamed at least one time in our whole life, 

The article “Fat Shaming and Body Shaming” on Bullying Statistics shows 94% of teenage girls and nearly 65% of teenage boys have suffered from being flouted about their body. That means almost every teenage girl used to be body shamed. Even though the percentage of body shamed teenage boys is clearly lower than girls, it still reflects a sad reality: Body shaming is very common nowadays no matter which gender you are.

Do you know how to go against those negative criticisms about your body? Do you know how to protect yourself from people’s sarcastic questions and scrutiny?

You could have thought about starting an argument or just simply ignored and let that slip away. Yet will everything end there or you would still be in the unlimited, repetitive cycle of body shaming? 

Dear friend, we were to be hurt by body shaming because we have not fully prepared a strong “shield” for ourselves yet. That “shield” needed to be created by yourself where the main material is your own strength.

You are not perfect – but you are unique!

You know, we are not perfect. In fact, no one in this world is perfect, even you and those people who were “attacking” you. We all have our own beauty and imperfections, strengths and weaknesses, in our appearances and our personalities. Despite all of that, do you know why you are special? Because you are unique – you are one in a million – you could not be found anywhere else.

Modern technologies can create smart robots with artificial intelligence but they could never create a second version of anyone. Leave alone your existence in this world is already very valuable. Thus the one that is the most unique and special would be the one that is irreplaceable. Do you realize how priceless you are now?

Your existence is very meaningful

Not only that, you were also born while surrounded by the unlimited love and care from your parents. You can be hurt by those negative comments but please don’t risk everything you ever had just because of them. Take a look around you for a bit. You have a family who will always love and be there for you no matter what. You have some close friends beside you. Perhaps you also have a lover, a person who loves and accepts you even when you are “not perfect”.

Of course, you can’t forget about yourself too! Do you love yourself? You have no faults when owning an appearance like this. That is you, you deserve to be loved and proud by yourself. You deserve to confidently say “I am myself. I am unique. I am special and I am valuable!”

You see, you always have at least one person who will love you unconditionally no matter what. That person won’t leave or abandon you just because you are too skinny or too fat, you have a dark skin tone, a face with acne problems or big, muscular calves. Your existence has already meant a lot to them.

Your parents only care about whether you are living happily or not, whether you are feeling energetic, positive throughout your day or not. They won’t love you a little more or less just because you look pretty or ugly everyday. Your close friends are there for you because you all fill the others’ lives with positivity, laughter and would always overcome terrible situations together. Those people stay with you because they love your true self – unconditionally and completely. 

Of course there is another important person, that is you. You are the only one who is responsible for your own life. As long as you still love yourself, and still understand how valuable you are, those words would be nothing to you. You wouldn’t stay at your workplace forever just because the traffic on the way home is crazy, would you? Then don’t let people who are meaningless to your life hurt you, steal your smile and precious, memorable moments away from you. 

Don’t grant anyone the right to hurt you. 

Do you know why body-shamers are interested in insulting others? That is because they themselves are full of weaknesses and imperfections too. The feeling of seeing the others feel miserable, anxious tricks them into believing they are perfect and would take over their own anxiety. That means your suffering, your tears, your obsequiousness. Those times you look down in fear would let the body shamers continue to exult. 

What will happen if you have a totally opposite reaction? Instead of getting upset or walking away when being called “a fatty”, why wouldn’t you reply to them with “I know I am fat and I love my chubby body. Is that your problem?” The anxiety that lives deeply inside of you would always be provoked everytime someone body shamed you. As long as you know yourself and accept your own body, those negative comments won’t affect you that much anymore. 

The “most powerful weapon” to protect yourself when being body shamed

The most powerful weapon you should be preparing to go against those nonsense criticisms is not toxic replies or ways to attack the body shamer in order to continue the argument. That weapon is the better version of yourself where you love and are confident about yourself the most. 

You are the only person who can decide whether to live happily ever after or to fill your life with sadness and tears. Those comments are like car noises, air and sound pollutants on the streets with terrible traffic. No matter what, you still have to get home, don’t you? Therefore, despite whatever the others are saying, as long as you see your unique beauty, as long as you truly love and treasure yourself, none of the stupid criticisms will make sense to you anymore.

Your value is not defined by how you look but how good your personality is and how smart you are. If you are aiming to be a model or attend a beauty pageant, it is clearly and non negotiable that you have to take extra care of your appearance. But if you are just a normal person with no specific work requirements, you build your own values by other factors. Being a doctor, you save people’s lives. Being an office worker, you help develop the company. Being a student, you gain knowledge in order to develop our own society and the world in the future. 

Of course, you are a human, you are allowed to have feelings. It’s understandable that you can’t totally ignore those nonsense, harsh words about your body. Yet the best thing you can do for yourself is to minimize the negative effects of those words on you. Your life has so many beautiful things, so many people who love you unconditionally and so many valuable moments waiting for you in the future. Save the best, the happiest moments for yourself the most. Love yourself the most. Let yourself enjoy every magnificent thing in this world with all the time you have. 

“The bully” can only bully the “victims” when they are weak and accept “the bully’s” manipulation. When you are strong enough to protect yourself, confident enough about your values, calm enough to just ignore them, they could never follow you forever. 

Therefore, instead of thinking how to beat “the bully” or how to talk back to them, try to take a moment to understand and love yourself more, would you? Believe me, you deserve everything in this world as long as you truly care about yourself first. 

Sending a virtual hug to you

Much love, 

Truly Inspired.