PLEASE LET ME BE MYSELF

I was scrolling on my social media account the other day and this single line of text suddenly caught my eye, and I had to pause for a while at a video of a young person. In that short video, I saw a short, black-haired girl glazing distantly through the small window on a plane under the golden sunlight, making me think that it was probably the moment near sunset of a light afternoon. Her sitting posture, her sad and distant gaze, that single quote written on the screen, and the dimmed sound from the background song that said, “Let me hug the thing that bothers you today,” everything came together and made me feel very sorry for her, even when we both were complete strangers.

It was just a small and simple quote, but I somehow understood another indescribable feeling coming from the heart of a young girl whose feelings were mixed with many emotions inside. I also understand that the past thirty years has not been easy for this girl when she still has not had a chance to be herself.

Taking a quick look at her personal account page, I had an impression of her as a warm-hearted, understanding and persevering girl who always tried her best every day. When she turned 18, she decided not to go to university but chose to work to earn money, then saved some for going to extra school and classes in the evening. At the age of twenty-three, she went abroad to work for a while, then returned home to continue looking for other jobs to make ends meet and to not rely on her parents.

She had tried her best to put her family before her and to not be dependent upon anyone, so that one day, when she finally had lived “for others” for long enough, she turned to ask for only one wish, which was to be “selfish”, to be true to herself for once in a lifetime!

But, life is not that easy. Her parents and relatives were the first to resolutely oppose the fact that she should live in accordance with her real gender, just because they feared how society would be laughing at her and would not accept who she was.

In this article, my focus will not be on the girl’s parents or her personal story, but instead what I want to discuss today is about a problem that hundreds, even millions of parents out there still do not want to (or rather cannot) accept – the fact that their child becomes a member of the LGBT community.

There is a Vietnamese folk saying that I heard a lot when I was a child: “Body is given by your parents, and personalities are given by the Gods.” We often accept that each child in the family has a different personality and no one is the same. Some children are gentle and kind, some are individualistic or sometimes too cheeky and stubborn in some way; but no matter what all of them are like, their parents can still accept them all equally, so why does the fact that their children have differences in gender make so many parents feel unacceptable?

All of us have once been a child in our life, and I think that we can agree that somehow every child in the world has no right to choose where they are born, nor can they choose the gender they will become. Meanwhile, we forget to consider the theory proposed by many doctors and scientists at many large hospitals that the nutritional imbalance between the metabolism of alkaline and acidic foods introduced into the fetus through the mother’s eating and drinking habits can also be a factor affecting the child’s sexuality later on.

Many parents only wish their child to be born healthy with all senses and a developed body like everyone else, and that only is already a great happiness for them. But why do so many parents, when discovering their child’s sexual orientation, feel so difficult to accept the truth, and see it as a reprehensible sin?

I understand that there can be many reasons for this, and perhaps the deepest root comes from the prejudices of the society in which we live. Parents are afraid that people will laugh at their family and that they will have no grandchildren to continue the familial line, and there are also people who fear that having a child who identifies them as the other sex is a “disease” that will never be accepted by other people out there, and so many more.

Well, whatever it is, I do not want to list more, because in the end, it is still a matter of “Please let me be myself!”, and that’s all.

Back in the days, the old society tended to respect men more and despise women more. When our human race became more civilized, there was a certain equality between men and women, where women started to have the rights to become senior leaders in many large corporations or influential figures around the world. However, it is extremely heartbreaking to know that even in this modern age of rapid technological development, there are still many people who discriminate and do not respect the LGBT community.

And it just shatters my heart into millions of pieces to know that even the people who directly give birth to the child, who watch them grow taller and taller everyday, and who have the closest blood lines to the child, would not accept the difference within the child’s gender, just like what I have mentioned earlier.

My dear friend,
Let’s take a look at the flowers in the photo below.
We can see how when the right time comes, the flowers will bloom naturally without any intervention forcing them to bloom early. So, reflecting back to ourselves,  why don’t we let our children “bloom” in life with their true gender?

You see, in these photos, there is a flower that is only half blooming but still looks super gorgeous and beautiful, right? In my eyes, that half-bloomed flower looks like a professional dancer unfolding perfect dance moves in their own way, don’t you see?

In another photo, there is a flower that is already in full bloom, which means that it is also about to die, but there we can still see its brilliance and flawlessness as it showcases its beauty for the very last time, isn’t it?

And our children, they are similar to those flowers. They will grow and bloom beautifully if being nurtured and protected in the best way.

I have never seen a child growing up in their parents’ unconditional love, respect and sharing become naughty or become a bad person for society. Often, only unlucky children who are not loved or raised properly by their parents would be the ones who have to undergo unfortunate things that happen to them.

Therefore, I believe that even if your child is a part of the LGBT community, they still deserve to have the rights to enjoy the best things in this life. Your child will always have an intelligent mind, a big heart filled with many colourful emotions, and a special talent of their own. Your child will always be your pride, even if their gender is not what you want.

To all the parents out their,
There is no such thing as the “third gender” or “outlier gender”.
With the truest love, gender names or labels no longer matter.

Love your child the way they are. Don’t let their gender obscure the great inner love you have for your child.
Accept your child and let them be themselves, and you will see the best version of them in the future, where there will always be a part from yourself in that future vision too. Don’t you worry, my friend!

Much love,
Truly Inspired