THE “IMPOSSIBLE” MISSION FOR YOUR CHILD

Hi, how was your day going? Did you do anything fun? For my part, I have just gone through a really interesting weekend with some of my good friends.

We did not have a chance to meet each other quite often as everyone was busy with their own lives, so when we finally met, we ended up talking about so many different things, and we eventually arrived at the topic of “mission impossible” for our children, and this topic took up all of our time.

In your opinion, what do you think would be the “impossible missions” for your child?

• Always have better academic grades than the neighbour kid?
• Be well-behaved, polite, obedient, and know how to do every single house chore?
• Understand and follow everything mom and dad say?
• Always have the best performance at school?
• …..

You would somehow come across some of those ideas, wouldn’t you? 

Oh well, I think if you ever think like that, you may need to rethink again 😀

The “impossible missions” that we were talking about throughout the coffee talk was how children were highly expected to do even better than both their parents ever could, or in other words, every child had to achieve something better than their parents’ achievements in the past.

Every time I think of those “impossible missions”, I always feel a sense of shivering straight down my spine, not because of fear but because of how heavy those expectations are for many children. 

These expectations make children always live in a state of fatigue because of having to constantly try and sacrifice their own health and well-being just to be compared with “other people’s children” all day, and they feel tired of not understanding why they have to work so hard all the time.  What is the point of trying when they do not even enjoy those things?

Parents’ expectations have always been there, and it will always remain next to the children from birth to adulthood. If they are both into an ordinary family, the child must try to study well to have a letter, then will have to try their best in order to have an adequate amount of education that can guarantee them a stable job in the future.  If they are born into a wealthier family, the child will then be forced to follow in their parents’ footsteps in carrying a business career, to go abroad and study business administration, etc. However, that very teaching method makes parents become even more imposed on their child, and the concept of “the neighbour kid” will also become more salient. In any situation, the heaviest psychological pressure will always be on the children, and no matter how advanced this society has developed into, these core prejudices will still remain within us. 

I have also finished watching an American movie, and I found that there are quite a few details in the movie that are related to the “impossible missions” that I have just mentioned.

Although it is an American movie, one of the characters is an Asian girl. She comes from a well-known billionaire family but seems like she cannot care less about all those things, including studying hard to follow the family’s business or being the only heir in the family. Nonetheless, the girl has a great passion for music and singing, and decides to give up all the best opportunities her parents have given her to fly to America alone, despite being cut off by her father and having to start a new life in a new country on her own. She sings on the street, she sings in bars and pubs, she does everything she can to make ends meet, and even in the most difficult times, she still tries to overcome and keep up with following her passion. Until one day, she finally becomes famous on that foreign land and is warmly welcomed by thousands of fans around the country.   And despite the fact that people have soon discovered that she “lied” to her audience about her background, she is still able to receive the love that she deserves, because ever since the beginning, she has chosen to live with passion and to not follow any “impossible missions” given by her parents.

It may seem like this movie had nothing to do with the aforementioned “impossible missions”, but I still want to share with you this little movie that shows how when a child has the opportunity to live true to themselves and to do the things they love, they will always have a good ending for their life story and succeed in everything they do.

And just like you, I have also gone through difficult times during my early years, where I also had to endure the academic pressure that my parents put on my shoulders. And in worse cases, they also wanted to take control of everything in life, including my social life and who I chose to befriend. But have you ever thought about how people will normally feel happier when they have the chance to choose what they want to do, even if that thing would not be beneficial for them in the long run?

Everyone comes into this life with a mission to experience different lessons and to live with different choices. Therefore, even if you try to force into your child’s mind the most perfect role models that they “should” follow, or the most perfect careers for their future, those things will only become the “impossible missions” for your child. 

I understand that most of the expectations that parents have simply come from their worries and concern for their children.  However, you know, no bird can know how to fly if the parents keep protecting and preventing them from risking the first steps. When and only when they can spread their wings on their own, discover the world with their own eyes, and listen to the vast wilderness with their own ears, only then can they become real birds. 

And it is the same for our child. Them coming to us is the beginning of a beautiful predestined relationship in everyone’s life, and our mission is to help, accompany and help them make this predestined relationship become better, happier and more peaceful.  Perhaps that is all the child needs from us.

Remember, don’t ever try to give your child any “impossible missions”, but instead try to step back and observe how life is slay giving them the important “missions” that they should commit to. Okay?

Much love,
Truly Inspired