THE MAGIC OF SILENCE IN A RAGE

Hello,
Welcome to the “My Story” category. As you have already known, this is one of the categories that put in a lot of effort and interest when building, because the “My Story” category will contain a lot of situations, confessions, and everyday experiences that I have gathered from myself, relatives, and many other people surrounding – those who I am destined to meet or chat in a few moments.

Today, I would like to talk about a very familiar topic. I believe this is something that you encounter every day, but only a few people can fully overcome it. That is “Anger”! However, I will not focus on discussing anger but the message I want to send to you is “The magic of silence in a rage.”

Now, I have two questions to ask you:

•  One is, how long have you not been angry?
•  Second, when was the last time you were angry?

If given the choice, which question would you rather listen to more?
You would probably be fond of the first question more, would you not?

Nonetheless, this life is strange, the more we like something, the fewer chances we would get to have it. Hee hee.

The reason why I say that is because 90% of unexpected things will always happen in our daily lives. Then, when the unexpected happens, how can there not be anger raging inside of us right?
You can pause for a moment to rewind what happened before you read the article! You might be able to remember every single event that has made you angry lately.

It is because there are so many undesirable things happening that anger, therefore, comes with many conditions.

It could be that on the way to work this morning, you suddenly keep encountering red lights, leading to you having to stop the car continuously while you are getting late for your appointment with a working partner.

It could be when someone will not stop honking behind your car, making you very uncomfortable, even wanting to start an argument with them.

It can also be when your lover or your parents forget to do something for you, even though they did not mean to, they just simply forgot.

It can also be when someone blames you, unreasonably holding you accountable for some issues at work.

Even sometimes, just because a few strands of hairs flared in front of your face, accidentally tickling your nose and causing you to continuously sneeze can also lead to an instant rising anger.

All those tiny little things can arouse ferocity and discomfort inside of us. Not only is it so easy to get angry with people, but when you let the irritation take control over your mind, you can also transmit annoyance to your pet, or any other object in the house that has the potential to become a victim of your negative vibe.

However, most anger occurs between people.  The closer those people are, the easier anger and annoyance will occur in the relationship.

Moreover, is it that all you want to do when feeling rage is just: punish those who tire you out?

Do you want the other person to admit their faults, and apologize, or even if the other person does not accept to do so, you would tend to look for opportunities to humiliate the other person?

That tantrum sometimes exists as a slanting gaze, pursed lips, or worse, a trembling body with hands clenching or looking for something to crazily beat up.

After satisfying all the negative emotional demands in your mind, what comes next? Do you feel any better?

Do you remember how you felt after those tantrums?
Was it that the more tired you are, the angrier you get? Or was it the gentle peace you were feeling?

Anger can only be temporarily forgotten. The inner pain, the unpleasant resentment that you think you deserve to be treated like this, is still there deep inside your mind.

Not to mention the mad consequences of your uncontrollable anger. What if your tantrum initially started from just a misunderstanding? You will regret, and feel ashamed of yourself and it will be difficult to face those people who suffered your anger at that time right?

When it comes to anger, I am reminded of a story I once witnessed from a friend’s family. A story that I will never dare to forget. A story that will always remind me of the consequences of anger, as well as remind me to always control it – especially with children.

My friend is a single mother with an adorable daughter who was nearly 5 years old that year. One day, when I decided to come by and visit them, I saw the mother continuously nagging in the office, with messy hair, looking for something everywhere.

In the corner of the wall there the little girl was crying quietly with her eyes both filled with fear and resentment. She would not stop looking at her mother and then at herself. The innocence on the little girl’s face was so pitiful.

My friend, who was raging and kept rummaging through cupboards to cupboards, bags to bags to find something, grumbling and scolding incessantly. When I asked, I found out that for some reason, she could not find a specific pile of documents that she needed to present a project to an important partner the following day.

When she went into the office to look for it, she only saw her daughter sitting there, drawing miscellaneously on a brand new stack of A4 paper, even throwing random papers all around the room.

With important documents that could not be found and the messy office caused by her “disruptive” daughter, my friend immediately scolded her with extremely painful words. Not satisfied yet, my friend also hit a ruler 3 times on her daughter’s hand, causing her to cry loudly.

Seeing her crying so loudly, and frustratedly, I took her to the living room and told my friend to calm down. You might not even bring the documents home so why did she blame the child for vandalism and hide it in where!

My friend, for a few seconds, seemed to remember something, immediately went to pick up the phone to call someone, just to finally find out that she had left the files in her colleague’s car that afternoon when her colleague brought her home.

Hmm..hmm. Do you see that?

Just mentioning this is enough to see how anger blurred our minds, without even realizing sometimes it is us who cause our anger, right?

Not finished there, when I hugged the little girl to comfort while rubbing her hands, the little girl asked me while sobbing:

• Auntie Na, I… I made my mom angry again but I do not think that I am wrong!

Then, the girl burst into tears, buried her face in my chest, and kept crying.
The slurred, unclear voice and the crying made me feel so sorry for her. I gently asked:

• Why did you throw so much paper in your mother’s room? Do you know that your mother is very tired from work? That is why when she comes home and sees you throwing papers around, she gets upset. Your mother takes care of you alone so do not throw paper randomly around anymore, please? In that way, she does not need to clean up anymore!
• Yes, Auntie Na. I did not throw the papers around, I was just trying to draw!

Then, the little girl whimpered again, raising her chubby hands to wipe her runny nose. I hugged her then rubbed her back and told her to go to sleep. If there is anything, “Auntie Na” would help her out.

A little later, my friend asked to babysit her daughter so she could visit her colleague’s house to get the documents back. After making sure the child was asleep, I went back to the office to help clean up.

Do you know what I saw?
In all those A4 sheets are pictures of the mother and daughter holding hands, lots of hearts, lots of colored flowers, or lots of the phrase “I ❤️U” scribbled on each A4 paper by the little girl causing my heart to feel a deep pain.

I carefully arranged each piece of paper that the child drew, put them all outside the living room table, and waited for my friend to come back. After a while, she finally returned home. I brought all the papers out for her to see for herself. At the same time, my friend’s phone received a message from the homeroom teacher, saying: “Tomorrow is March 8 so I have assigned tonight’s homework to draw a beautiful picture and give it to your mother. Whoever draws the best will be given a beautiful flower note. I have reminded the children since the afternoon, but I am afraid that they will forget so please cooperate and remind the children to do their homework. Thank you.”

At this point, without needing to say anything, I am sure you can already understand the feelings in my friend’s heart and mine at that time, right?

With all her love, the five-year-old girl tried her best to paint as many pictures as possible for her mother.
With all her anger, the young mother blamed everything on her daughter, saying that it was her daughter who messed the office up causing the mother to lose her documents.

Do you see that?
In just a few short minutes, my friend not only hurt her daughter physically (hit her on the hand) but also damaged her feelings and the love the child had for her. That wound may not be too deep, but if it is repeated over and over again, I am sure at some point, a barbed wire fence will silently be built up, separating the love that both sides have for each other.

Anger always blinds our minds.
Anger controls our behavior and thoughts.
Moreover, it is only when we are angry, we dare to say things that we cannot say to hurt someone when we are calm.

The story I wrote above is just a very small example. There are so many situations with tantrums out there with strangers, and acquaintances, that we have seen, or experienced before. If we always choose to let our anger out or use violence unthoughtful to vent our annoyance on others, will we stop feeling angry?

However, if you do not let your anger out, what should you do? Have you ever tried to silently watch how your anger developed?

Dear friend, each of us does not always contain anger, suffering, torment, etc, right? Within this heart and flowing through our blood, we also have love, altruism, and compassion that, when the waves of anger surged, overshadowed our initial compassion and love.

If you try to be quiet and observe your anger, you may also feel sorry for the person who made you angry. That is because in this life, the reason why many people hurt others is due to the pain, those times they have been hurt too much deep inside, my friend!

Of course, I do not want you to immediately forget your anger if bad people intentionally annoyed you or made terrible mistakes that are hard to forgive. Nonetheless, I hope you will understand that it will never be considered weak if you choose to be quiet when angry or to forgive them right away. That is the best way for you to regain your peace and free those emotions living inside your soul!

Learn to enjoy the magic of silence when raging. Try it once, buddy. If you are not familiar, you can practice counting numbers at first. When you start to feel anger is about to rise inside of you, take a deep breath and start counting 1,2,3,4,5… count until you forget the number you are counting. At that time, the anger will also gradually subside.

Like that, the method works just like a spell.
I believe you will soon escape from the “tsunami” of anger. There will only remain honesty and gentleness in your heart. You will always be at peace and live with the tenderness that life gives you.

Much love,
Truly Inspired