WHAT ARE THE CONDITIONS FOR HAPPINESS?

2:00 AM in Melbourne, just another ordinary day slowly drifting into a new day.

It was bitterly cold and quiet outside, yet I was still inside my office, kept typing to finish up today’s work.

The sound of the keyboard helped me with clearing the loneliness inside of me when having to stay up late for work. The glass of warm water on the table that my husband just left there a few minutes ago also made me feel so loved and full.

Ting…

I was enjoying this peaceful and loving working space when an email was suddenly sent to our Truly Inspired’s mailbox:

“What are the conditions for happiness in life?”

The email subject line that appeared on the phone screen immediately caught my attention, and it was wonderful how a question from an unknown reader could give me such a strange and interesting feeling. Putting my current work aside, I decided to open the email and read it all at once without missing a single line.

I would like to keep the story in this email a secret, but I would also like to take the email’s subject to name the topic of today’s article, which is “What are the conditions for happiness?”

Perhaps before asking you about the conditions for happiness, firstly, I would like to ask you, “Are you truly happy at the moment?”, or “Do you know what the definition of true happiness is?”

I know that happiness is different for each person. Each of us, with different circumstances, will have different perspectives and senses about happiness. For some individuals, being born with a bright and lovely appearance is happiness, while for others, being born and able to survive well in this world is already great happiness without necessarily being “physically attractive”.

For some people, being able to eat three meals a day is happiness, yet for other groups of individuals, successfully finding a safe corner on the street or anywhere available down the pier to lie down for many nights to come is already happiness.

Some people’s definition of happiness would be having the ability to possess material wealth such as a beautiful house, a luxury car, a wardrobe full of designer clothes, and heaps of expensive jewellery. However, some people would already be happy if they have a jacket that is thick enough to help them overcome the coldness of winters.

It will forever be like that. Happiness exists in many different forms, yet no matter how different they are, they will always bring the same feelings for every one of us: joy, wholeness, and completeness.

However, do you believe that many people in this world are still not happy even though they have already got themselves delicious food, enormous houses, and had people to drive them to wherever they need to visit?

I think you have probably seen a lot of such cases, right? There is this question that is always strongly raised after observing those cases, which is “Why are they already being fulfilled but are never happy?”

What are the required conditions to own that happiness? Why are there still people who materialistically invest so much in themselves but still cannot warm their hearts or purchase complete joy for themselves? It is because one’s mind was never focused on the current happiness. Some people are not even aware of the existence of happiness every time it is right there in front of their eyes. It is only when suffering, failure and loss come to knock on their door that they finally realise when that happiness is now truly gone.

I once lived through a period where I was desperately and truly unhappy, despite always being fulfilled, cared for, well-fed, dressed up well by others, and despite always being able to do as many things as I wanted or to have as many things as I liked. Living inside of me was a smouldering fire that made me uncomfortable and empty every day that passed by. Soon after, when I started to study more about the depths of a person’s life, I somehow realised that the root cause of all my incomplete feelings was because I had yet carried out the “correct mission” of my life.

That mission is to share, help, and give out warnings to those around me. I am meant to do such things for a long time instead of just enjoying life for myself. I realised that I need to pop my bubble, step out of the comfort zone of materialism to truly live a life full of interesting experiences and to be useful to others, even if that life is not as materialistically wealthy as the one I used to have.

For me now, the condition for happiness is very simple: we must be aware of happiness’s presence in our life, then keep on maintaining and cultivating it every day.

It may sound quite simple and not “guaranteed” enough to solve the problem of finding conditions for happiness, right?

However, let me give you an example:

Going back to your childhood, were you often scolded or even spanked by your parents?

Do you remember many times of escaping from meals at home just to go out to the backyard, playing hide and seek with the kids in the neighbourhood? Or even times when you were so immersed in video games that no matter how many times your parents called you over to the dinner table, you would still not join them?

When you have already grown up, I am sure you would wish to return to that warm, familiar atmosphere, to hear your mother calling you home to join those family meals, and to be able to enjoy the bowl of fish soup, the pot of braised fish, and the plate of fresh greens with fish sauce that your mother had cooked for your family, right?

If only during those days we were aware of the completeness that children who lost their parents could never have; if only that day we knew how to cherish the time with our parents, using that time to bond with them more, so that when we grow up and must work far away from them, or so that when we lose them forever, we would be somewhat less regretful and heartbroken.

It is obvious that a child’s conditions to own happiness are easy to meet, yet no matter how much those demands are satisfied, they would never be conscious enough to recognise and appreciate it, and would finally let it slip away easily.

In this world, there are many things that when being lost can still be regained or brought back with wealth. Nonetheless, there are also things that no matter how well you perform in life, you could never have it return back to you, such as the happiness from family gatherings, the warmth of friendships, or the precious time at the beginning of your life when you were in kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, then finally college, etc.

Just like that, owning happiness requires no other conditions rather than always remembering its existence, and learning to preserve it.

It is not enough to just see the victories of others but forget that there are also empowered lights inside your heart. As long as you understand that everyone’s victories are different, and you should not compare yourself to anyone for anything, you will then feel more peaceful and motivated to strive further in your life.

Understanding your mind, abilities, and your heart, understanding how it feels, and always taking advantage of your strengths, you will surely not only succeed in work but also allow for happiness to appear in life more often.

It is only when we go through upheaval and loss that we become more aware and deeply grateful for the things that make us happy. Keep on “embracing” those suffering and experiences, and then give ourselves a “deadline” to step out of that misery to recognise the happiness that has been standing in front of us the whole time.

The condition for happiness is just to know how to maintain and upgrade. Preserve and appreciate everything in your life, because it is not easy for us to be present in this world, and the same thing can be applied for others. Upgrading is about pushing yourself to break new boundaries, adding up useful knowledge, and finally slowly enjoying how each day in life can be filled with happiness.

Just like me right now, I am also enjoying happiness when slowly taking sips of the warm water that my husband had given me while completing my deadline ☺️

Much love,
Truly Inspired