HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY OTHERS?

I believe that one of the most positive things we can think when being taken advantage of by someone is: “Ah, so I do have such value!”

If we look at it from a positive perspective, each person’s life should experience being “taken advantage of” at least once. It could be in terms of material possessions or in terms of emotions. Of course, I never wish for any excessively negative consequences that deeply affect your life. However, if it serves as a “wake-up call” and helps you recognise your self-worth, then the experience of being taken advantage of is also worth experiencing!

Because I believe that if you have ever been taken advantage of by someone, be it a close friend or an acquaintance, it will provide you with a wealth of valuable experiences.

In the past, I too have been exploited by others who took advantage of my kindness for their own benefit. In this situation, being close to the person, I was exploited not only materially but also emotionally. However, you know what, after discovering their not-so-adorable character traits, I just laughed it off!

Hey, just so you know, I am not mocking or making fun of anyone. Rather because I believe that, at least to them, I truly appear as a kind person, someone who brings them some faith, some hope to cling to, and brings additional benefits to their lives.

Certainly, upon discovering being taken advantage of, I significantly reduced my contact with that relationship. I did not want them to continue indulging in the pleasure of exploiting others in such a manner. It is an unfavourable behaviour, for in the future, when facing genuine difficulties, no one will dare extend their hand to aid that person anymore. Everyone will be apprehensive, fearing whether they are continuing to be exploited in a new way or not.

I have also had encounters with individuals whose mindset, in my opinion, is rather a bit too dangerous: they think that they are smarter than anyone else! They always believe that what they do goes unnoticed by others, or they assume that those around them are naive and kind-hearted, so they can freely exploit them.

Nonetheless, little do they know that sometimes, the other person is as well a passionate devotee of “drama.” Speaking of which, I suddenly recall the story of a former client who sought my advice on issues within their personal relationships.

There was a period of time when she became acquainted with a middle-aged man who was quite wealthy and indulgent. She said that her initial attraction to him was based on admiration for his talent and humorous personality, and not only that, his warmth and generosity also made her feel happy and content most of the time. However, as they got to know each other over time, he began showing signs of being less indulgent, spending less money or giving her fewer gifts. One day, he messaged the girl and informed her that he had gone bankrupt, with very little money left in his hands. He only had about 100 million VND (around 6364 AUD) in cash that could be used, so it would be difficult for him to provide protection and care for her, as he had many responsibilities to take care of.

The young girl, being quite disappointed upon hearing the news from her boyfriend, felt extremely disheartened. She was worried but did not know what to do, so she sought advice from her close female friends. One of the trusted and closest confidantes advised her to let go of that relationship. Just when they had recently started dating, news of bankruptcy surfaced, and perhaps in reality, he had nothing and merely pretended to entice her. Meanwhile, that particular friend of hers was also the first one to support her in getting involved with that man, knowing that he possessed assets and could take care of her in the long run.

Another friend of hers advised the girl to think carefully, as it could be a test that the person has set for her to see what she would truly be like. Successful men often have had multiple wives, and they may do such a thing to determine who is suitable to accompany them on their next journey. He was already wealthy the moment when you met him; hence, he does not need to start anything new together with you.

Upon hearing the young lady’s story and the advice given by her two friends, I initially refrained from making any judgments or evaluations, as I believe that each individual, when faced with different experiences and circumstances, will offer different advice.

However, I also share a similar mindset with the second person. Because in the first scenario, if it’s a man who only seeks to flaunt and show off, deciding to leave is absolutely right and relatively easy to do. But in the second scenario, perhaps because that person has experienced numerous hardships and setbacks in previous relationships, they also want to find someone who genuinely loves them and not just for the material benefits they possess. Although I am well aware that there are many other ways to explore true love rather than resorting to such methods, everyone can have their very own approach to every aspect of life, my dear friend.

After analysing the situation for the young lady to fully understand the issue, I posed three questions to her:

• First, did you truly agree to commit to this relationship only due to genuine feelings in your heart? Or were you more captivated by their wealth and the extravagant lifestyle they offered you?

• Second, did you thoroughly investigate and get to know the man in more depth through shared meals and outings together? Did you pay attention to his gestures and actions, and did he share any insights or guidance about life or business with you?

• Lastly, have you ever entertained your mind with thoughts about his possessions or material wealth? If he turned out to be someone who was struggling financially or bankrupt, would you still choose to stay because of your feelings? Or, if you later discovered that he was just merely testing you, could you imagine how you would feel in such a situation?

I only needed to raise those questions for the girl to finally have her answer the second time we met, and to be able to make her decision with the utmost joy and clarity. And it turns out that, indeed, that man really intended to give her a tough “test” to see if both of them were ready for further commitment!

Do you see that, my dear friend? In this world, there will always be heaps of intelligent individuals. They can employ various methods to test your character and your sincerity. Therefore, refrain from hastily judging ourselves superior to others, for we never truly know what thoughts lie within their hearts. Perhaps they are merely providing you with an opportunity to “perform,” as they are loyal spectators of the “dramatic arts.” They may once serve as a measure of your worth, and eventually, they depart!

Hence, it is best to live in a virtuous and genuine manner; others will perceive it immediately!

Considering everything under a more positive scope, being taken advantage of or benefiting from it both signify that you possess something truly valuable and of great quality. Don’t you agree?

If by any chance you find yourself entangled in a situation where others take advantage of you, only to depart once they have been “discovered” by you in secrecy or openly, remember that it does not diminish the inherent goodness of your worth. Furthermore, their actions also help reflect upon their very own character. The next step for you is to “move on” and recognise that you are a person of value, and that this value will attract those who are more deserving and respectful of you, my dear friend!

Much love,
Truly Inspired