ARE YOU OKAY THIS TẾT (LUNAR NEW YEAR)?

“What is the biggest lie of the year…?”
… 
“I am okay, mom. Has your life been good recently?”
… 

As soon as the first line of the music video “Tet On Roi” (Tet Is Alright Now) echoed, it immediately caught my attention while I was in a car, cruising around the streets, trying to find inspiration!

The habit of getting in a car and letting my mind follow the flow of clouds has been around for a long time. Whenever I feel stuck for ideas, I hop in a car and drive until a few sparks of creativity ignite in my mind, then I head back home.

This time, during the transition from Tết (a Vietnamese word for Lunar New Year, a traditional and festive holiday celebrated in Vietnam) to the arrival of spring, each lyric, and each dialogue in this Lunar New Year-themed music video stirred up a whirlwind of emotions in my heart – affectionate, nostalgic, and deeply touched!

The song also brought back many old memories to my mind, and it made me suddenly realise that I also need to decorate my home to welcome Tết (Lunar New Year) in time!

In fact, before the doors that lead to 2024 opened, I had already anticipated that this year, I would encounter many lessons about love or, to be more precise, I would face challenges with my emotions! This means that whatever happens, happens, regardless of whether I would be mentally prepared or not!

Lately, I have been very busy, not just with my usual daily work, but also with unexpected matters that have arisen! For several months now, I have not had a chance to truly “rest” in the true sense of the word. There have been days when I had to work until 6 or 7 in the morning while trying my best to organise and resolve all the unexpected tasks. All of that is just to timely prepare my soul for a beautiful traditional Tet celebration with my beloved family.

However, even though I have tried my hardest, I have to be honest: my inner emotions are not fully ready to embrace a new year of harmony, peace, and prosperity with my loved ones. As the festive season draws near, I find myself facing more apparent emotional challenges.

There are times when I cannot deny the underlying uneasiness that resides deep within me, waiting for an opportunity to burst out. Although I knew eventually, I would feel better, some moments became a little bit more difficult to gather myself together, to uplift my mood, and to decorate my home with the vibrant atmosphere of Tết (Lunar New Year). Because I always loved Tet, I was still enamoured by the bustling feeling during these transitional days.

I am just a little tired, that is all, no worries!

How about you? Are you doing okay this Lunar New Year?

During the post-Covid period, perhaps the question I have received the most from those around me was, “Are you okay,” followed by the usual response: “I am fine!”

Fine? Are they truly fine? How many percent of that answer was genuine? Only the person themselves truly knows!

Some stories leave us unsure whether to laugh or cry, stories I have heard and witnessed countless times revolving around the word “fine” that people often ask and answer each other with.

For example:

• There is a friend of mine who works as a manager in a company. Every day, they dress neatly, always showing up with positivity and genuine smiles for everyone, including the staff. However, how many people know that deep down, their hearts are in turmoil? They have to weigh and measure, “take action” against former comrades who once stood side by side with them, to include their names on the list of employees who are most likely to face job cuts and salary reductions… How can they maintain their integrity when one side is filled with love and compassion, while the other side is burdened with the consequences of the post-Covid era on the entire company?
• There is another friend of mine who is suffering from an illness but hesitates to share it with their relatives who are in another country, so as not to burden them further, knowing the difficulties they face due to the economic downturn and unemployment.
• Then some constantly exert themselves at work, when meeting friends, and when returning home to their parents. It is only when they step into their private room that they can finally let go of the mask and express those underlying emotions, living true to their personality and their LGBT identity!
  …

All of these individuals, even if you ask them the question “Are you okay?” a hundred times, they will smile and say, “I am fine! Do not worry!” However, of course, how can they be truly fine?

As these emotions flow through my heart, I suddenly recall an old story from a distant acquaintance, back in the days of traditional Tết (Lunar New Year) preparations, which is also the moment when the traditional new year atmosphere is about to enter each household.

It was an image of a girl I had the fortune to work with. During that Tết (Lunar New Year) season, I asked her:

• Are you coming home this Tết (Lunar New Year)? When are you planning to come?
• No, I am not planning to come home, sis.

Her answer came out with her gaze fixed far away, seemingly avoiding my eyes, and right after that, tears streamed down her face… She told me many things that day, but what I remember most is the feeling of guilt she had towards her mother. She did not dare to go home, feeling that she was not strong enough and afraid of getting hurt if she had to face her family. She said she had no reason to see her mother and she was afraid that her love for her mother would be further damaged!

The reason for that action was that the little girl knew that her mother loved her brother dearly, as her mother always wanted her to help him in life. If she refused to do so, her mother would scold her. However, her mother did not know that her daughter also had to make a living far from home, and she was not always financially stable enough to send money back to the family regularly. There would always be difficult times, times when she had nothing in her hands, but her mother would never understand!

Also, because she had never confided in her mother that she was not fine at all, due to the fear of causing her mother to worry, in her mother’s mind, her life has always been fine, even could be described as a relatively comfortable urban life. Therefore, every time she could not help her brothers, her mother would reprimand her. Over time, the mother-daughter bond between them grew distant, the visits became less frequent because the first question was always about money!

There you have it! 

Every Lunar New Year that arrives, we hear countless stories that, even with a brief mention, can deeply affect our emotions… Especially after a prolonged period of the pandemic, when we experience life and death in the blink of an eye, we realise that family, love, and health are the three most important factors in life for each individual!

• Family is a refuge, a place of deep affection where one can return and be oneself, without anyone judging or evaluating, without having to wear a mask anymore!
• Health is a compass that allows us to journey in all directions and accomplish many things.
• Love is the “evergreen thread of spring” that binds us together, brings warmth to one another, and prepares us to face the challenges of the upcoming year…

Then the lesson here for me, for you, for all of us is that when someone cares enough, and loves us enough to ask, “Are you okay,” then dare to answer honestly, “No, I am truly not okay.” If you are truly facing that problem, my dear friend!

I hope there will not be any more sad stories like the story of my acquaintance’s younger sister or the examples I mentioned earlier about my friends… I hope that no matter what happens in the future, you will always be truly okay, and your family will always bring you the utmost peace!

Remember:
Being “not okay” is not something ugly that needs to be hidden. We share our struggles most positively and sincerely to receive support and understanding, not to complain and burden others. There is nothing to be ashamed of!

I said that because I know that there are friends of mine who have spent half of their lives thinking about their loved ones, forgetting to take care of their emotions, until they look back just to find only a weary and empty soul…

I understand that we all have so many responsibilities to ourselves and those around us to the point that we always try to feel fine as quickly as possible. However, before finding that stability, let yourself be comforted, my friend! You have tried hard enough! Let us clean up the tangled mess inside and together, let us prepare for a joyful Lunar New Year visit!

What does a peaceful Tết (Lunar New Year) mean?
What does a happy Tết (Lunar New Year) mean?
It means we gather together and enjoy each other’s company
Our families are still there
We have our health
That is all it takes for a peaceful new year…!

Much love,
Truly Inspired