LOVE – INVEST “CORRECTLY” FROM THE START!

“How we love someone from the beginning can determine how far that relationship will go.”

A long time ago, my friend and I had the opportunity to share our thoughts on love in a warm meeting. We are close in age, so our views on relationships are somewhat similar. The quote above was something she once said to me during that meeting. I still remember it because it resonates with how I love and live with loved ones and those around me.

Do you know why the way we love from the beginning reveals the outcome of that relationship? Well, let me tell you the story of a long-term relationship between a mature couple, who are my friends, then you will find the answer for yourself, alright?

However, before I dive into the story, let us be honest with each other for a moment:

“Do any of you turn to fortune-telling every time you argue with your partner/loved one? Maybe being accompanied by a friend, going alone, or silently “intruding” into various online fortune-telling pages or groups, seeking reassurance and guidance?”

Why am I asking this? This is because this question is related to the love story I am about to share. I jokingly named their relationship as “The Stubborn Meets Another Stubborn!”

My friends, of course, love each other deeply, but just like any other couple, they have their stubbornness and challenges, rarely let go of their ego for the sake of the other person.

Does your love have such moments too? I bet it does, right? I have witnessed countless couples breaking up, getting angry with each other, and then quickly making up, laughing, and being happy again. However, there are also times when tension reaches its peak, leading to cracks or even a breakup. Sometimes when not knowing what to do, they even resorted to fortune-telling, seeking external guidance on why their love path is so crooked!

My friend’s love story is not exempt from those unusual emotions that arise when one is in love. Honestly, my friend does not always confide in me about the progress of their relationship; however, because perhaps she has been stuck on thinking about it lately, the other day, she asked me, “Hey Na, can you show me a place to get a fortune-telling reading?” – “Waaaait. What is happening here?”

In my eyes, she has always been a strong, courageous, competent person who is always ready to face various situations in both work and life. When she asked that question, I was quite surprised, but it also made me laugh, hence the long “Waaaait”!

My friend shared that she and her partner had been arguing and giving each other the silent treatment for a few days. She also mentioned that she is well aware of her partner’s feelings for her, but what she does not like is that he rarely apologises when he does something wrong. This contradicts her love perspectives. It is like one person wants to address a mistake when someone commits one, while the other person thinks, “Just let it go, what is the point of dwelling on it?” This may seem trivial, but it is the very thing that often leads both sides down a dead end or causes them to be angry for days whenever conflicts arise.

Let me talk a little bit about my friend: Although she has a strong personality and is a determined and clear-minded woman in life, she also deeply loves her boyfriend. It is probably because of her love that she has overlooked the “fault” I mentioned earlier and has come this far with him.

I truly appreciate their love because they have weathered many storms, ups, and downs together while still maintaining sincere affection in their hearts. However, every love story has its unspoken emotions and situations that can lead to intense arguments. Just like an ancient quote once said: “The more you love each other, the more that it hurts.”

This is closely related to “being true to oneself” from the beginning of your love. It means that when you first get to know and start loving each other, your partner may not have clearly expressed what they want: if someone makes a mistake, they should acknowledge their fault to the other person, in any situation. Perhaps the love they have for each other is genuine, but in the early stages, they still have reservations and are afraid to honestly share their perspectives and desires in the relationship. Therefore, the longer they love each other, the more they are prone to getting stuck in those “small matters.”

This is my perspective and viewpoint on love – “investing and expressing oneself correctly” from the beginning!

I have borrowed this story from my friend to share my perspective, even though some may agree or disagree with me. However, regardless, this is how I choose to love someone, and I think it is worth sharing with the readers of Truly Inspired. Who knows, it might help someone have a smoother and more beautiful romantic relationship.

For me:
In love, whether it is falling for someone new or having had a few relationships before, I always choose to “Love as if I have never loved before!” I will love that person wholeheartedly, dedicating all the sincerity I have to them from the very first day we are together. I will not wait to love a little longer and gradually reveal my feelings. Instead, I will choose to “invest and express” right from the start!

Some may think that doing so is rushing in love, that it is reckless to pour out everything when you have not known the other person well enough. However, for me, that is the least painful way to love someone!

That is because I understand myself very well, what I like/dislike, want/do not want, can/cannot do, and what suits/does not suit me about people and situations around me. In other words, I highly respect my emotions. That is why I rarely regret giving my all for a certain love, even if it fails.

My love, emotions, and heart deserve 100% sincerity. As for others, whether they respect and appreciate that is up to them, and I cannot control it.

Saying this does not mean I can easily fall in love with someone or let them treat me however they want! I am the type of person who, although fortunate to have many people who love, care for, and support me, if I say ‘No’ from the beginning, no matter how long they stay by my side, it would still mean ‘No’ – it may sound a bit harsh, but that is the truth!

If you love someone but keep hiding your emotions, not daring to express your true nature or thoughts from the beginning, you will not be able to feel comfortable. Being true to yourself is the most authentic way to let the other person understand who you are and what you are like. This is also a way to help the other person determine if they are compatible with you from the start. This is quite important for a long-term and serious relationship.

Being honest with your emotions from the beginning is a way to respect yourself and also a way to show respect for your partner.

Sincerity will touch sincerity. If your sincerity does not elicit sincerity from the other person, then do you not have the opportunity to explore someone else without investing too much time in an incompatible relationship?

No matter how old you are or how many times you have been in love, I sincerely hope that if you have the opportunity to love, you will love as if it is your first time, with utmost sincerity and clarity, my dear friend!

Be clear-minded to recognise the worth of your love. Be clear-minded to acknowledge the respect you have for yourself. Of course, be clear-minded to determine if the other person is truly compatible with you and if they value you. If they are not a good match, do not force it or stubbornly hold on; do not let your sincere emotions become tainted and lose their value in the eyes of others!

When someone truly appreciates your worth, they will shower you with all their love and self-respect, making you feel safe whenever conflicts or disagreements arise. They will know when to stop before an argument escalates, and they will step back for the sake of you and your love. Stepping back does not mean the other person is wrong – even if they make a mistake, they will always be right – right in their role as a true man.

I always understand one thing: Love is not about right or wrong, it is about how much we care for each other. Everyone has their reasoning, but if we know how to love and cherish the value of the other person, we will not use our ego to “fight” against each other because when will the fighting ever end? Instead of spending time on joy and happiness, you end up investing it in conflicts, anger, and resentment, leading to pain. What a waste it truly is!

Author Mark Twain once shared, “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did.” This is also what I want to tell you. I choose to love wholeheartedly, regardless of the outcome. I will not waste time regretting the end of a relationship because:

Investing correctly would lead to long-term love. However, investing wrongly should also be followed by minimal regrets!

Many people are afraid to try, to give their all from the beginning, but later on, they have long-lasting regrets. They may even spend their remaining lifetime regretting that love. How can we know what is “meant to be” and who is the right person? How can we be certain that the person we do not treat sincerely is not “Mr. Right,” right?

Therefore, my dear friend!
With love – invest correctly from the start!
Use a suitable attitude, and the right emotions, and be true to yourself!
You will not have as many regrets as you think!

Much love,
Truly Inspired