TO BE HAPPY, DO NOT BE LAZY!

Evening on the weekend, as I was getting ready to sleep, my younger colleague in my team sent me a clip of a radiant marriage proposal of an Asian couple that was going viral on social media. Along with it, she added a comment:

• Sis, when will I ever get something like this? That other lady must have been a superhero in her past life, why is she so lucky?

I messaged her back, asking:

• How do you know she is so lucky?
• Well, I have been following this couple for a long time and watching their videos every day. I think she is truly lucky. Her soon-to-be husband adores her. He always buys her favourite food and drinks. He even prepares her clothes every morning to go to work. She doesn’t have to do anything but pampering. Oh, it is so heart-warming. And finally, today, he officially proposed to her romantically. I am so thrilled!

Her message was so long that I immediately sensed her admiration for that unknown couple and understood her dream and her desire for happiness.

I jokingly replied to her:

• Why not admire me? I am just as lucky as that girl, you know 😀
• Oh yes, I know, but it is different for you. Their happiness is different from yours. You do not announce anything on social media, and you are not in the age where everything about your life is posted.

She retorted, and I just laughed:

• So why do you still dream of happiness like they have? Everyone has their definition of happiness. Besides, how do you know if they are truly happy? How do you know that a girl does not have to do anything and is still happy?
• Ohhh… I just guessed that from all their videos. I think when a man truly loves a woman, he would take care of her like that.
• Yes, you are not wrong to think that when a man truly loves a woman, he will be willing to do anything for her. However, if you only look at the top of the iceberg, you haven’t seen everything that girl has done to her boyfriend. Thus, because you are hoping to find a husband like that, you are only focusing on his actions, not on the woman.
• Oh, yes, I understand now.
• What do you understand, huh? You forget what I have told you before so quickly! Remember the article “Backdrop”? Do not rush to judge and evaluate others’ lives, then assess your situation based on those standards just to feel bad about your life. Maybe what happened between those two is real, maybe that girl does not do much work but still gets happiness from her lover, but it is also not certain. At least, do you think she is beautiful? Is she always dressed nicely and speaks very gently, lovely, right? That is also an investment. I believe that to achieve happiness, she was not that “lazy”, she did a lot but maybe you just didn’t notice. To be happy, you cannot just be lazy!

Normally, I rarely post all of my messages or conversations with close friends on social media, but this is a problem that I see lots of young girls struggling with. Therefore, my younger colleague and I agreed to bring up this topic and this conversation on the Truly Inspired channel, so that those in need can read it.

As social media is still continuously developing nowadays, we always have the opportunity to access countless positive, beautiful, and happy messages and events every day. However, when we come across a marriage proposal video or a heartwarming moment of joy between a couple online, many of us become disheartened, starting to long for that joy. Additionally, some people start to think that in a relationship, maybe even if they do not even have to do anything, but just being able to find the right person, they will eventually be happy.

I am not dismissing or judging if you think like that too, but, my dear, in this world, not many people are lucky enough to meet their soulmate, who is not only a perfect match for them but also a person who can handle a relationship that originally required two people to participate in. In any relationship, there always needs to be balance from both sides. None of us are perfectly compatible with our other half from the start, but to achieve harmony, each person must work really hard and invest in mind, and even time and material resources into developing a relationship.

I realise that nowadays, there are too many girls dreaming of a perfect relationship like in most romance novels, then just look at their current partner and think he is not their type, or he is not good enough. However, there are even those who, deep down in their hearts, dream and seek happiness like in Korean dramas, then they just think they do not deserve it or they do not have the opportunity to fulfil that dream.

My girls, every one of us has the right to be happy and live fulfilled! It is never because of our background, circumstances, or social status that we do not have the right to be happy. Always remember, even if you are just a blade of grass and you strive to spread out more to beautify the paths and parks, you still are very valuable!

I am not here to romanticise living in dreams and fantasies. What I want you to think in depth here is: To be happy, do not be lazy! Do not just dream, do not just admire, or do not just be pessimistic about your reality. Instead, use those dreams to invest in yourself, as well as your relationship!

I believe that all the girls who are living happily and being cherished by their other half are not all “lazy” as we might think they are being an outsider!

At least, they all will invest in these three things:

1. Invest in yourself. This investment will certainly never bring you losses. You will always receive increasing interest because you are becoming more beautiful, intelligent, and continuously upgrading yourself. Once you are always beautiful, confident, neat, intelligent, and self-sufficient, true happiness will come and find you!

2. Invest in taking care of your other half. No guy would not want his girlfriend or wife to take care of him every day, no matter how clumsy his girl might be. They may love you sincerely and do many different things for you. However, if you keep neglecting, being indifferent, and considering it as obvious, sooner or later, those cares and attention will belong to another girl.

3. Always create small romantic gestures in love. A note with a cute reminder or a small love note, a tiny, lovely gift, a kiss every morning, a hug every time you meet at home, intimate private dinners… will never make your love boring. Non-materialistic romance or materialistic, both will make a couple feel valued and always feel like they have found the right person.

These three things are not just for girls, because no one-way relationship can last over time. Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are lazy, you will not receive any happiness!

Love, work, family, future, all of these always need to be carefully invested. There will be no gifts for those who are not serious, not diligent, or not willing to make an effort.

We cannot demand others to love us forever. We can only wholeheartedly appreciate, and always improve to make everything better. However, if it is not good, it is still okay, as long as you are still always considerate of your life and others, you will eventually be able to find your remaining matching pieces. Do not worry, and do not chase after others. 
Keep dreaming and do not forget to make it come true, my dear friend!

Much love,
Truly Inspired