LOVE THE RIGHT WAY – AT LEAST YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!

Today, I want to share a not-so-happy family story from a friend I have known for many years.
Even though it is not a happy story, I still want to share it with you because I know there are many families out there with kinds of love and ways of treating each other that are hard for outsiders to accept, let alone those within the family.
Have a listen and see if you or someone around you has ever encountered a similar situation!

My friend is currently married and has been living abroad for many years. Back in her hometown, her siblings have grown up and have their own families. Her father passed away many years ago, and her elderly mother lives with one of her two brothers. However, at the beginning of this year, the eldest brother passed away, leaving only the second brother. For the sake of convenience in taking care of their mother, the siblings discussed and agreed to move their mother to the second brother’s house so that he and his wife could take care of her.

However, from there, more sorrow arose. While living with the eldest brother, their mother was well cared for, from meals to sleep, and her old routines. Therefore, when she moved in with her second son and daughter-in-law, things did not go smoothly. The elderly mother, already in poor health and mostly depends on a wheelchair, needed close care and attention. However, the second brother’s family has been following a vegetarian lifestyle for a long time, and their living habits are somewhat different. Because of this, my friend and her sisters have tried their best to find a helper to assist with cooking and taking care of their mother more adequately. Of course, they also contributed financially to support their brother and his wife.

Because she lives abroad, my friend could only rely on her sisters to occasionally visit their mother and help her, while she would seek out good and suitable medicines to send back home. She always tried to help her family manage various matters related to the mother. However, due to her nature of not wanting to repeat things many times, aside from her close elder sister, her second brother and his wife were unaware of her quiet concern for their mother. Then, as fate would have it, one day her sister-in-law began to complain, “Why are we the only ones who have to care about mom, yet we still pay as much as everyone else?”

The implication of that message was that my friend had contributed very little to their mother’s care, whether in terms of finances or effort. However, the eldest sister, who understood what her younger sister had done for their mother, immediately “countered” with sound arguments. The brother quickly fell silent because he knew that his sister had spoken the truth!

Alas, my dear friend! It is the same beloved mother who gave the brother life, and the same little sister of his kin, but his small family still weighed and compared who had put in more effort or money. As I mentioned earlier, my friend and her sister had also tried very hard to find a caregiver and always shared financial burdens with the second brother and his wife to ensure their mother had the best possible care! Luckily, my friend is also financially stable and has a good job; otherwise, who knows how much further family issues and conflicts over their mother’s care would have escalated!

What is more concerning is that the brother’s wife expressed clearly that she did not like taking care of her mother-in-law, and he seemed to silently agree, feeling that his mother’s presence in their home affected their personal life! These factors combined made my friend constantly worry, unable to feel at ease about her elderly mother back home. Of course, she has also started looking for ways to better help her mother, but every time she thinks about her mother being lonely and struggling in the home of her dear son, she feels an indescribable pain…

Even as an outsider, hearing this story brought a profound sadness to my heart, not to mention the feelings of someone directly involved like my friend.

Since I was young, I have been fortunate to be taught by my mother to always cherish and preserve the traditional values of a woman. So no matter where I go, what I do, or where I stay – whether I am dressed elegantly or simply, exploring cool and edgy styles or feminine and graceful ones – I always strive to maintain the traditional and very Eastern manners that I inherited from my mother.

Especially when it comes to loving my family, or more broadly, loving the loved ones of those I care about. Therefore, besides working, I always try to fulfill the responsibilities, roles, and wholehearted love of a wife towards her husband and children.

My mother also taught me: When you love your husband, love also those who are dear to him – those who have cherished and supported him before you even appeared in his life!

This reminder from my mother has helped me live a life full of gratitude, not only towards those I hold dear but even towards those who are not so pleasant in my life. In this life, we cannot completely “live alone,” and it is through gratitude that I understand how those around me live, and why in certain situations they might treat me wrongly. This helps me respond more gently in times of conflict or disagreement with them. Moreover, I believe the most significant benefit of regularly expressing gratitude is the deep sense of inner peace it brings!

When my thoughts are calm and peaceful, I also behave/face/approach external matters with the same gentleness and serenity. The calmer and more gentle I am, the fewer sharp thorns life throws my way!

So, returning to my friend’s story above, I genuinely hope that her sister-in-law can understand and take better care of her mother-in-law. This is not only a matter of human kindness but also for her own good! If today, she chooses to do her best and give her all with a sincere and kind heart for her small family and her husband’s relatives, then in the future, if something unexpected happens, she will not have any regrets!

We should only decide to end a relationship with people who seriously threaten our health and mental well-being. Naturally, we should also choose the kindest way possible to treat the other people. For every other relationship in life, whether it is love or family, we should love wholeheartedly and devotedly, no matter the circumstances! Because when we love our family, our partners, or even strangers in the right way, at the very least, we will not have any regrets later on.

Moreover, loving correctly also helps me solve even four more important issues:

• Resolving any debts of gratitude with someone if there are any.
• Helping my loved ones feel peace in their souls.
• Fulfilling my role as a loved one in a delightful way.
• Making the ones I love love me even more.

Such a win-win situation, is it not?

All along, in every relationship and connection, my motto has always been: give your all, do your best, but remain clear-headed to discern everything! I hope you can do the same; learn to love the right way so that at the very least, you can still find peace within yourself, my dear friend!

Much love,
Truly Inspired®