BE A WOMAN, BE “BEAUTIFUL!”

This article is a special message to all the girls out there—whether you are someone close to me, someone I once knew well, or a complete stranger, I hope that the following thoughts may resonate with you in some way. Let us all grow more “beautiful” together every day!

I have always had a small group of very close friends; even though we are all women, we have always loved, supported, and shared everything with each other, and we always make an effort to be present for one another in various ways, sometimes just to be a “trash can” for someone in the group when they are dealing with sadness or life issues that need to be shared.

Our friend group is so close and caring that when some people find out about it, they cannot help but think negatively, saying things like, “Let’s see how long that lasts.” Many people imagine that a group of women cannot truly be friends, that they are more likely to gather to gossip about others or discuss trivial matters. Some even believe that although we are close now, it is only a matter of time before “drama” arises.

However, our group genuinely cherishes one another, ready to wait and support each other whenever needed. This is because each of us has gone through significant hardships, pains, and losses in life. And as women, we can warm each other’s hearts, understand, empathise, and respect one another deeply—This is a blessing for me and everyone in our group.

Although we are all very busy with work, family, and personal lives—and on top of that, we do not live in the same place or even the same country, often being in vastly different time zones—we still make time to check in on each other, to see if everyone is doing okay, if anyone has any issues or needs help. These are the things that make us truly treasure and love each other more, because you know, as we grow older and become more mature, our circle of meaningful relationships tends to shrink, leaving only a few truly valuable connections. Thus, when we have “found” each other, no matter how busy life gets, we always look out for one another, being there in one way or another when someone needs it.

Recently, I shared with the group a little “incident” I experienced in a class. As I have mentioned many times, I am not exactly a top student, but I am fortunate to be liked by many of my teachers. These gestures of affection and kindness can be as simple as a teacher passing by the classroom, turning their head to look inside my classroom to smile and nod at me, or calling my name.

Perhaps this has stirred a sense of “otherness” inside a female classmate of mine. If a female teacher greets me, I will be accused of currying favour with her to receive good treatment. If it is a male teacher, I will immediately be suspected of having something “inappropriate” going on with him. This classmate has put me in several awkward situations because of this.

Speaking briefly about that classmate, she was someone I used to care about and was quite close to in class compared to many other classmates. She often came to me to share her stories, seek advice, or ask for help with her studies or even with her personal life issues. She had agreed to let me push and stand by her side in our courses so she could be more serious, disciplined, and make academic progress together with me. However, one day, she suddenly started opposing my suggestions and often “whispered” to others about me. Recently, on an ordinary day in class, this classmate, under the guise of being a “close, good friend,” told the whole class that I frequently “forced” her to do things here and there even though she did not want to! She claimed that she also has her own opinions and views, but I never listened and tended to oppress her, making her follow me in everything as if I were her “boss.”

To be honest, when I shared this story with my loved ones, do you know what their reaction was? Everyone laughed and said: Oh, that is nothing! There are plenty of people who pretend to be close friends just to bring others down. Your situation is just a minor issue!

And you know what? I actually found it quite amusing when she acted like that. I did not argue or engage in a dispute with her; I simply and quietly placed her in the category of relationships that need to be limited—because this is a relationship that does not share the same values of kindness – ethics – life beliefs that I strive to follow every day.

Faced with what has happened, I am not overly worried or concerned about that classmate, nor am I afraid of what she said in front of everyone because I know the truth behind it all. However, what truly displeases me is this: both she and I are women who have experienced many uncertainties in life, yet she did not choose to walk alongside me with joy and mutual respect, yet instead, she chose to smear my reputation and bring me down; but for what purpose? Because in the end, she only gained little from this, only allowing her ego and jealousy to lead her into such a negative act in a fleeting moment. Another thing that saddens me is that since she chose to treat me this way, I can no longer keep her by my side as we move forward together… In the end, who can say for sure that after “speaking ill” of me and criticising me in such a way, the friends in our class or those around us will continue to have a positive view of her? Just thinking about it makes me feel more pity for her than sorrow over her turning her back on me.

As an ordinary woman like any other, I understand very well that among women, issues can easily arise, leading to feelings of comparison or envy in work, love, and personal life. Even two girls who are close to each other can still risk losing their friendship; sometimes, they may stop being friends in an instant over something as trivial as both “having feelings” for the same man.

Today’s events also remind me of when I was younger when I also unexpectedly lost friends on several occasions. There was a time when a close friend of mine had a crush on a guy, but that guy had feelings for me although I always kept my distance from him, knowing that my friend liked him. However, out of nowhere, that friend stopped talking to me and completely turned her back on me, even though I had no interest in the guy she liked. It is a bit absurd, but I believe that such situations are rampant in the world out there, where two women might even fight, compete, and play dirty just because of a man. So, what I have encountered is really just a minor matter I guess!

In my view, every woman, whether beautiful, charming, or strong-willed, possesses her own unique values. Our task as women is to discover our own worth, learn to live in alignment with those moral and intellectual values, and strive towards becoming the best versions of ourselves. As for matters such as competition in work or life, or those related to men’s affections, we should not allow ourselves to be dragged into conflicts, sabotage one another, or lose our own dignity and principles.

Ultimately, even you may not want to be around women who chase after superficial things, constantly comparing themselves to others, without genuinely living honestly, or those who only pursue men without thinking about self-improvement, right?

Moreover, I believe that when women step out into society, they must strive much harder to have their talents and values recognised. The number of women who achieve success in the marketplace or in life is still not as great as that of men, which puts us in a position where we must always push forward, work many times harder, and create more value for the world, etc. Does that not make the struggle even more intense? So, I always feel more inclined to love and empathise rather than compare, calculate, or seek out someone’s flaws to bring them down. I always hope to hold hands with other women, grow together, weather the storms, protect one another, cherish one another, and together journey towards the best version of ourselves.

In the years I have spent learning to grow up, I have encountered quite a few laughable yet tearful situations, and of course, there has been no shortage of wounds caused by other women! But do you know what? Fortunately, after those painful falls, I met and even became close to ‘kindred’ women who share the same values and morals I strive towards. These are people who are always ready to understand, share, and respect me as much as possible. Like the group of friends I mentioned at the beginning of this article.

Since then, I have become more convinced of a common formula for women to attain a happy and peaceful life, which is: Always know where your values lie, understand what you truly want, what you desire, and what you expect from life—in work, in life, and especially in love. When we truly focus on these things, it seems we no longer have time to compare, calculate gains and losses, or harbour jealousy and envy towards others!

From my own experiences and those of the women around me, I want to share with you one of the things that I hold dear and that has helped me overcome many adversities, which is:

I deeply understand that no path is entirely easy; every place we go and every stop we make is fraught with certain challenges and difficulties. However, once our purpose in life, our ideals, passion, and desires are strong enough, we become more prepared to face these experiences. From there, we also learn to cherish every lesson and embrace the teachings from people and situations that are not particularly pleasant with more understanding. Eventually, one day, we might even feel genuinely grateful to them, because through them, we are “reborn” into a version that is truly “beautiful,” just as we once dreamed of becoming!

My dear friend, as women, we often have a tendency to focus on the small details, so it is inevitable that sometimes we may develop feelings of comparison or jealousy; the difference lies only in the level and awareness each person has.

Those who are aware of the rising jealousy in them will know how to manage it and make it disappear, or they will find ways to focus more on their own growth. However, those who lack or have little ability to navigate it will easily let that jealousy cloud their judgement, leading to actions or words that suddenly make them appear worse in the eyes of others. Therefore, the choice of who you want to become and which version of yourself you want to be is entirely up to you, not influenced or determined by others. Remember that!

When we let go of the “victim” mentality and cut down on negative thoughts about others’ happiness or success, we will begin to feel peace and hear the quiet sound of our own happiness.

Now, my dear girls of Truly Inspired!
Let us focus on being beautiful, not creating trouble. Do not forget this!
Beautify your soul, enhance your value, take care of your appearance, and do not “create trouble” that makes you “ugly” in the eyes of others, my dear friend!

Much love,
Truly Inspired