“PEOPLE WHO DISLIKE YOU ARE COMMON; THOSE WHO FEAR MAKING YOU SAD ARE RARE”

Has anyone ever told you this before?
If not, if this is the first time you are reading or hearing this on Truly Inspired, let me borrow and send you, those individuals who are striving on the journey of life every day, the words of the author. 

Sometimes, I wish I would have the magic that allows me to instantly run to the dear ones or acquaintances when they are sad, disappointed, and need someone by their side. That is because I feel that, as humans, we generally seem intelligent and strong, but in reality, we are just small, fragile, and easily breakable individuals.

Because of this fragility, a gentle touch from someone can immediately cause us harm. 
Because of our vulnerability, if someone makes you suffer or triggers your emotions, you can easily shatter! Especially if these unpleasant things come from those who do not like you, you will be even more sensitive and, in the end, more hurt!

One thing I find quite puzzling is why we let strangers, or more precisely, those who do not like us easily cause an impact and make us sad. Meanwhile, we never notice that our surrounding loved ones still care deeply for us, no matter who we are. We turn away and blind ourselves from the overflowing love of those close to us. We only choose to see those haters who love to criticise or have prejudices against us, and allow them to cause anxiety, discomfort, or inability to be happy within ourselves!

As a matter of fact, it would only take someone wrinkling their nose at the outfit you are wearing going out to immediately ruin your mood. You let yourself be affected while forgetting that what someone calls ugly is just their judgement based on personal aesthetics. They are not the creators of all fashion formulas and beauty in the world. However, we trust their words saying that our outfit is below average. If this judgement comes from genuine advice, a sincere suggestion to make you look better, you can choose to listen. However, if it brings you negative thoughts and you keep it in your heart, tormenting your mind, then you have played into their hands!

I have a friend who is quite stubborn and rebellious, but fortunately, she is optimistic and hardly pays attention to any negative comments or suggestions. She has a quote that she uses as a “guiding star” in life: “Every time someone criticises me or turns down a feature of mine, but I am fond of and grateful for it, I thought to myself: Well, does that person feed me breakfast every day, take care of me, worry about me to own the right of suddenly jump in then judge, generalise, and force me do things their way? If even my parents have never intervened, where do they take the right to talk to me like that?” That was it! A moment later, she would forget those haters’ words and continue to be happy and playful.

I often tease her, asking what she would say if it were the adults who criticised her, how would she respond to not be judged? She laughs and says, “Well, if it was an adult, I would think I am old enough to take responsibility for my life. If I make a mistake, I will bear the consequences and will only listen to sincere suggestions. However, if they want me to follow their demands, that is a straight no for me!! Even if I make a mistake, I will not ask anyone for a single penny. Hihihi!!”

There, you see, quite a clever girl, is she not? We can also support some points in her way of thinking, don’t you agree? When she thinks and acts like that, she finds her life enjoyable. She shared with me recently that “Up to now, no one cares to say anything about me anymore, sis. They seem to have already been tired of me. I would just ignore everything they said, perhaps they have felt hopeless. Nonetheless, overall, I just want to experience and take responsibility for myself while not harming anyone or breaking any law. Just like that, I do not let anyone stay in my head for too long. Those who have understood will understand me, and if not, that is still fine. How can I please everyone, right? :))!” 

Very few adults among us can think and persist like the girl above. Her determination and ignorance, sometimes feigned deafness, have generally helped her to have a life without regrets and without having to worry about whether people like her or not.

She is a little too straightforward and affirming. Sometimes, if someone is not used to her personality, they will easily judge her as not well-behaved. However, I have to admit one thing: her philosophy of not caring about what others think of her is worth sharing with many Truly Inspired readers!

“People who dislike you are common; those who fear making you sad are rare” – I have just skimmed through this quote on the internet, so I do not exactly remember who the author is. Nonetheless, I strongly agree with this point of view. Since forever, I have been a straightforward person, so the number of people who do not like me or even hate me is not few. I used to feel uncomfortable or sad just because not many people understood me, which later led to disliking me. 

However, later, I successfully changed my mindset. The more I mature, the more I realise that while the number of people who do not like me is small, it is not like I can do anything to change it because I cannot force people to like me immediately from the first meeting. It still does not matter that much. There are still people who fear making me sad, worry when I am sick, take care of me when I need comfort, etc. I still understand that the love of relatives and loved ones is always much more than enough!

Then, why should I put so much thought into those who do not like me, right? 

Therefore, my dear friend, life will always contain people who do not like us, and we must learn to accept this because we will not be able to control it. Thus, it does not belong to us either. Let it go and walk past those who do not like you because you always have those who love you with yourself to take care of, and a future full of light that requires your full efforts!

People may hate you, but you must not hate yourself.
People may dislike you, and you are not obligated to please the world, but you must become someone you truly admire!

It sounds simple but it is not easy. However, not being easy does not mean it is impossible. Just understand that changing your mindset, and choosing to look at things openly and positively, is a journey that, from the very first step when achieved, will make you much happier and become better in many ways. Just change your mindset, and your life will always be smoother in many different ways! Those who do not like you, whether you are better or worse, will still not like you. Therefore, why not use a method to constantly improve yourself and focus only on those who genuinely care about you?

I will share with you a small way to stop focusing too much on those who do not like you anymore, that is: Write! Instead of sitting and contemplating and then feeling sad because of those who do not like you, why not sit down and write down all the good things, the meaningful things that loved ones have done for you? Write them out every day, even if it is the smallest thing because it is both recognition you give to them and a reminder to yourself to have more gratitude toward them. Most importantly, you will not have room in your mind for those who are outside your circle of love because your life is already so happy, give it a try!

Starting today, let’s learn how to change your perspective, and change your attention toward others. You will feel much happier. Trust me!

Much love,
Truly Inspired